Poem for Scott and Brenda

Our God will never burden us with more than we can bear.

It's just another way He demonstrates His loving care.

I look around sometimes and see people He must not trust,

for they seem to coast right through their lives with seldom a reason to fuss.

But there are others I know with whom He must be well pleased,

because it seems to me their lives are not always a breeze.

Sometimes they have their struggles. Sometimes they get knocked down.

But God knows they will always remember where strength and comfort can be found.

God knows when they need Him most they will drop to their knees and pray.

God knows their friends and family will pray with them every day.

God knows their faith will be a light that shines for all to see,

and the rest of us will look to them as a reminder of what we should try to be.

So when times are tough and it's hard to know what God's plan is right now,

I pray our Father's loving hand will pull you through somehow.

Top Ten

I just wanted to take a minute to compile a top ten Christmas list. It has been great and fun and festive. We still have one more dinner to go but here is a list of some of my favorite moments thus far.

#10 - Direct quote from Jaron - "This is my best Christmas ever!" (I mean, come on! He has 4 others he could have chosen and he picked this one!)

#9 - Madison saying to my ever-expanding belly, "Merry Christmas, Baby Sister."

#8 - Making these with Madison and and my niece, Molly. And yes, Molly put a bikini on a gingerbread man.

#7 - Have any of you watched little kids playing the Wii? It is priceless. I am talking top of the line entertainment. And it is all I have gotten done when we have been home. We stayed up until 1:00 in the morning (OK, so Jaron conked out at 12:45 waiting for his next turn) the first night we let them open it! We are creating serious material for one of those "Addicted to Video Games" talk shows.

#6 - Couch pile-up photo shoots. Matt, Jaron, Logan, Taylor, Madison, Lance.

#5 - Yummy food in general. I am eating very adequately for two, you know.

#4 - Festive and fuzzy socks.

#3 - Getting my Motherhood Maternity order in the mail on Christmas Eve so I had new and COMFY clothes to wear for the big day! (You know, some--or maybe most--of my things were getting irreversibly snug.)

#2 - Exchanging gifts in general...watching the faces light up when they open something I picked out for them. Oh, and cash! I'm not going to lie about it.

#1 - Fun and festive time with my favorite people.

enjoying the ride

Once, when Kevin and I were young and foolish, we decided we had to go sled riding. My sister-in-law and I will soon have 8 kids between us, but at the time we had only met one of them, so we left him with his grandma so the four "adults" could have some serious fun in the snow. The snow was irresistible that day. Half a foot deep and soft and as white as bleached sheets. So the men in the group fashioned our "sled" from what could have been part of a sheet of plywood (thus the "foolish" part) that they fastened to the back of the four wheeler. On one particular trip down the hill, Lachelle and I were riding and the boys were driving, we rounded a sharp corner and the plywood went totally airborne and ejected its passengers. I went rolling and rolling down the bank into their yard, completely cushioned by all my layers of coats and coveralls, and landed on my back seeing nothing but clear sky. I remember I could not stop this possessed laughter that had me in tears. Laughter like that could only mean that it was a great ride. As I lay there, it occurred to me that I should get up so everyone would know I was not hurt or anything. I made it to my feet to discover that not only was Lachelle not laughing, she was crying. Loudly. Her exhilarating roll down her bank was cut short by the mailbox...and it was laying beside her, post and all.

I always think of that particular ride when we get the sled out. It is safe to say we learned something that day. Its memory remains a big factor in my decision to banish myself from the sled for this winter. I did, however, manage to get some photographic coverage and enjoyed my role of sled supervisor to its full capacity. Over the years our sled practices have become much more safety/injury prevention oriented. I still find myself unable to stop the tear shedding laughter so I do not feel like I am missing out on any big thrills from my youth. I think tear shedding laughter always equals success. So while initially the kids may have been disappointed to postpone their classroom parties and a trip to the movies with classmates, they soon remembered how much fun snow days can be! I wish I could bottle their laughter to open anytime I need to hear it. I love how sometimes in life the small disappointments can become the biggest joys.

What's in a name?

So we are stepping into my last trimester of pregnancy. The last trimester for this baby girl who is destined to be either a) a champion of Dancing With the Stars or b) a professional martial artist of some sort. I am trying to figure out her sleep/wake cycles but have not been very successful. She moves a lot early in the morning. She moves a lot late at night. She moves a lot most of the morning until lunchtime. She moves a lot throughout the evenings. The only time I can honestly say I do not feel her moving every day is for maybe a couple of hours in the evenings. She seems to be a very busy little girl.

Since my ultrasound I have been thinking more about names. I think names are important. I have a book called "20,001 Baby Names" and have read the girl half in its entirety twice. I like to name babies after people. I like namesakes and heritage. My name is Valerie Rosene. My Granny's sister was named Rosene, and their mother was Emma Rose. So my mom gave me the name Rosene. Kevin and I both loved Madison early on. It was the only name we both loved and agreed on. I decided before I was a teenager that my daughter's middle name would be Rose. So we decided to name our first daughter Madison Rose. There is no other name she could have had.

When I was about this far along in my second pregnancy we had not yet broached the subject of names. I ordered the baby name book from amazon.com and decided the day that book materialized in our mailbox we would pore over it and discuss names in excruciating detail. Well, the day arrived when I got home from work to find the book lying on my kitchen table amongst envelopes. Kevin was standing at the stove cooking something for supper. I sat down and flipped through the pages, enjoying the new book smell, and proceeded to explain to the love of my life the importance of this book and choosing a name for our son. He did not even turn around and look at me. He stood at the stove stirring away and said, "I like Jaron." I put the book down and said, "Okay." And that was that. Kevin likes things to stay inside the box and I was so proud of him for coming up with something unique and different. And I like the name. And I love the story behind it. Kevin's childhood babysitter was very special to him. She and her husband spoiled him at every opportunity. She still says she never spanked him because he never needed a spanking! They were an older couple who did not have children of their own. She is not even 5 feet tall and calls my 6'4" husband her little Kevie Dale. He had sleepovers with them regularly in addition to spending every day with them. Her husband's name was Joe. Kevin always wanted to name a child after Joe. We also wanted to name a child after his Aunt Sharon. She also did not have her own children. She attended all of Kevin's milestone and sporting events with gusto and was one of the best people I have ever known. She died of leukemia while I carried Jaron. So from Joe and Sharon we have Jaron. Kevin had no preference on the middle name. I chose for Jaron to share that with his dad. So from Joe, Sharon, and Kevin Dale we settled on Jaron Dale.

So here I am again and while I am reading and planning and thinking and making lists, my husband obviously thinks this baby is going to be born wearing a name tag. As a third time dad he is not in the slightest hurry to mull over names and thinks we have plenty of time. I guess I realize all babies are not named in a five minute conversation over meal preparation. But you know me. I am ready. I am nesting. I like to have a plan.

So I have chosen a first name that I have become very attached to. Kevin will have to do some profound and serious convincing to change my mind. I am not sure on the middle name though. I am having a hard time coming up with a name that would provide the heritage and namesake element. If I name this baby from names that I like and maybe not after someone we love and cherish will she feel unimportant and neglected later? Female family names include Frances Jane, Lola Elaine, Judy Coleen, Iris June, Debra Gail. Oh, and Madison wants to name her Valerina!

So while my intended short post has become very long and excessively detailed, to sum it up I am looking for any input on baby girl names. Maybe suggestions of sweet names you have heard or how you chose your baby names. Oh, and opinions on the damage of a child born with no namesake would be appreciated also! Maybe it would be helpful if she would be born wearing a sticker after all. "Hello, my name is..."

Inquiring Minds

I would love to have a profoundly wise and inspirational post to share with everyone today, but it is just not in me. I have been marvelling lately about the thought processes of the kids as they figure out life and family in general. Jaron has really had a variety of important questions lately, most of which I think are adorable, so I decided to jot them down for a couple days to share with you. Here is what I have compiled thus far, in no particular order.

What do clouds eat?

Is that baby in your belly going to say you're his mama?

Why are Grandma Judy and Grandpa your mom and dad?

Why don't you have any grandmas?

Why is that baby in your belly my baby sister?

Why were you my mama when I was in your belly?

How is my baby sister going to get out of your belly?

Why does my baby sister want to meet us and be our family?

Is my baby sister going to come home from the hospital later?

If my baby sister can hear now can I tell her good night, too?

things that make me cry

I cannot spend this week looking forward to my long weekend from work to share with my favorite people without taking the time to blog about it. I feel like this holiday needs to be acknowledged and I am seriously shirking my duties if I do not do a post on some dimension of gratitude. I tend to over analyze things sometimes. Every year at this time I wonder where to start. I mean, I am thankful for my family and friends and our health. I am thankful that my cousin-in-law is on the verge of coming off of his ventilator and that my Grandad got to come home from the hospital. Those are the things that pop into my head without effort. The big things that really matter. But when Thanksgiving is in the air and everyone is thinking of family and talking turkey and noodles and pie I tend to reach a little bit farther and think on the less obvious blessings in my life.

I remember my friends and I rolling our eyes at our moms when they got emotional over the things we may not have grasped the importance of. I always thought I was tough. I liked dresses and makeup when appropriate, but I also liked sports and hunting and never felt like I was one to cry easily. I know now that becoming a mom kind of changes that. Sometimes things make me cry and I know the teenage me would roll her eyes. This year I was thinking about what I should include on my blog to represent the gratitude in my heart. In trying to limit the length of this post I chose to include the things that make me cry.

Good music. "Remember When" by Alan Jackson came out when I was pregnant with Jaron and I had to pull over because I could not see the road for my tears. This time it was "The Best Day" by Taylor Swift. It is worth looking up.

Good movies. The Hallmark Channel. Holiday season. Need I say more?

Good friends. You know, the ones that say you look nice when you are about to break your personal top weight record and your clothes are not flattering and your face is so round you don't even recognize yourself in the mirror anymore? (NOT to be confused with the people who ask when you are due and do not mask their shock at the date because they assumed it was much, much sooner)

Good family. Grandpas who convince the grandkids he grew whiskers out during deer season just to tickle them with. The grandma who invited the kids to have a sleepover Tuesday night because she is off work on Wednesday while they are off from school. The same grandma who THEN cooks a big supper, says, "Don't bring anything," and asks the whole family to just show up after we get off work for our Thanksgiving. What better way to kick off a long weekend than to relax and eat with the family? Thanks, Mom!!

Good kids...most of the time. Kids that say they are best friends when they don't know I can hear them. Kids that make gratitude lists at preschool citing their favorite things to be thankful for such as hamburgers, grandparents, Mom, Dad, big sister, baby sister, and sausage. Kids that leave notes around the house saying things like, "I love Mom, Dad, Jaron and the baby. And our dog." Kids who comfort one another if there are tears involved.

Good husbands. Husbands who offer up cash to have my young househousekeeper come over when he thinks that will help me. Husbands who change from the NFL channel to Noggin when it is time for Wow! Wow! Wubzy! Husbands who can be talked into playing a board game or making popcorn almost every day by the little people in our house. Husbands who remember to make life fun on a regular basis.

Birthdays. Milestones in general. Holidays. Vacation days in general. The experience of growing a person. A person who moves so often I am always reminded to be grateful! Especially after bedtime! Pumpkin pies and peanut butter blossoms. Noodles (the homemade ones, of course). Time to be home with my favorite people and do nothing but enjoy them. I may not be a weeping willow in my adulthood but I have been moved to tears more in the last 6 years than I ever anticipated and those are the moments I am most thankful for this week. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

A person from history...

This week at school the kids are dressing up for education week. There was a pajama day, a math career day, reading day, and today was a person from history day. We do not have an abundance of career costumes in the Peavler household, so coming up with something to wear needs to involve some creativity and craftiness that I do not possess. Or just a crazy idea. I told Madison this morning that I had an idea for her "person from history" that she could be. I said, "How would you like to wear Mommy's warm-ups from when she was in school and you could be me from back when I was in sports?" I held them up in all of their Lady Hornet glory and her eyes lit up! She said, "Oh, yes! I remember you were number 21!" She thought it was a great idea. I was glad. Not all of my ideas are still great, you know.

She reaffirmed her excitement by exclaiming, "Oh, yeah! This is a good idea because you are my mom and you are way older than me so that is history!" At my shocked expression she reminded me, "You are 30, Mom." It's okay. I still remember when I thought 30 was old.

Think Pink

I think when asked what we want for our children, most parents would say they want them to grow up to be healthy and happy. To become the people God wants them to be. Isn't that all we can hope for? I have been thinking about this a lot relative to this baby I am carrying. I wonder about hair and eye color and personality and gender but I have been telling myself that all I want for this baby is good health. I have been telling myself that I do not have a preference at all as to whether it is a girl or a boy. I mean, I have one of each. I have the joy of dirt and overalls and ruffles and bows and I have truly been blessed. It is true. I have no preference.

But then I had my ultrasound on Friday. I was told the baby is growing perfectly. Every ounce was measured and determined to be within the normal range. Hearing those words feels like wrapping up in my favorite blanket. Then I was told it is a girl. My mind went back to Madison as a baby. My mind went back to the lovely baby showers I was given by some of my favorite people in the world and all the beautiful dresses and pink and purple outfits. And sweet pink blankets. The onesie that says, "Daddy's Little Sweetheart." The Christmas dresses. The fuzzy sleepers with flowers and butterflies on them. Jaron had some sweet baby clothes but girl clothes come with accessories. There are booties and bows and head bands and socks of every color with ruffles. There are tiny shoes in various styles and shades of pink. I am having another sweet baby girl! I am a little excited.

Now, if the ultrasound ends up being wrong, I will simply pull out the tote labeled "Baby Boy" and I know I will find sweet things to wash up and I will never question the plan that God has for our family. And I will be happy. But if it is right...I hope she likes pink!

hot date night?

Last week my girlfriend wrote a post about date night. It was about how significant date night use to be back in the day and how after marriage and children it tends to be pushed to the background. She misses date night. I related perfectly, of course. I had two main thoughts when I read her post. First, I was trying to remember the last date night Kevin and I had. We have had a lot of dates. We dated back in the day. I remember spending hours curling my hair and doing my nails and makeup and watching for him out the window. Secondly, I was thinking it would probably be awhile before he would be asking me to go out again. I mean, what would be the reason? February - Valentine's Day. August - Anniversary. Sometimes we make a day of Christmas shopping without the kids and that requires eating out alone together. But if I do not plan the event ahead of time it is probably not going to happen. Or so I thought.

I like it when he pleasantly surprises me. Saturday I got the invitation. "Do you want to ride to Columbia with me?" I thought that sounded like a date. When we left the house wearing perfume and cologne I thought it smelled like a date. When we dropped the kids off with Grandma I decided it looked like a date! Hot date night was ON! A calm and leisurely dinner with steak and salad and adult conversation is a hot date, right? It was so much better than the dates we had when we were teenagers. I am far from a size 3, and he does not give me my invitation with enough notice to spend hours on my appearance (not that I would now if he did). Even so, our relationship has grown into something I never could have imagined back then. I could never have imagined how love can evolve with a person when you bring children into this world together. I look across the table at him now and I don't dream about what our life could be like if we ended up together. I already know. Our daughter has his nose and mouth. Our son shares his love for fishing in the river. He would have been satisfied to stop at two kids but agreed to have another one because he knew it would make me happy. He is a good provider who does not make a habit out of missing work. And the patience he displays when teaching things to the kids by far surpasses any expectations I may have had. So while date nights are lower on quantity than they use to be, I believe they make up for it when it comes to quality.

Keeping that in mind, I still had some lingering questions I asked myself during the ride home. Is it still a hot date if you take a minivan? Is it still a hot date if it includes significant time in Bass Pro before dinner? Is it still a hot date if the state of your pregnancy requires that you must go pee upon arriving in Columbia, arriving at the restaurant, and again before leaving the restaurant? Is it still a hot date if he decides to practice with his new duck call on part of the drive home and you put your ear buds in to drown out the sound with your favorite tunes? I guess I still think it is and that is all that matters.

Keepers

I have friends who had kids almost exactly a year after I did. And they had a girl followed by a boy, like me. So their daughter is a year younger than mine, and their son is a year younger than mine. Unlike me, they also found out she was expecting again at her 6-week checkup following their son. During some of my weaker, self-doubting moments I remember wondering sometimes how she kept her sanity. I have always respected how great her attitude has been relative to her unexpected blessings. I recently saw these friends and now their children are 5, 3, and 2. I was inspired by them. Not only are they working hard to raise their own stair step children, but they have taken legal guardianship of a baby boy cousin. They took him home from the hospital when he was born and have had him for two months now. His mother is in prison. She gets fifteen minutes of phone time daily and has called them once to check on him.

I have a book with quotes about motherhood and one of them says, "Having kids is not like fishing--all children are keepers." And boy, is he ever a keeper. He was the sweetest baby and barely made a peep all evening. I held him awhile just to make sure I remember how to do it correctly. He went to sleep on my shoulder. This picture was taken the day Jaron was born. He was a keeper too. We talked a lot about the legal and emotional issues that come with adoption and guardianship that night. I just want to applaud any parent who has given a part of themselves to this process for the sake of a child. I understand loving a child as if it were your own. I would not have a problem with that at all. But this extra dimension that comes with foster parenting and legal guardianship and adoption--this possibility that you could love a child as your own and it could be taken away from you again--I believe any mother who opens themselves up to this possibility has strength and character that I could only hope to achieve someday.

There have been times when my patience has waned and I have doubts about my ability to be a great mother to three kids, but spending an evening with this couple and some other families we know really helped me to put things into perspective. I know God gives us the strength we need when we need it...and that He never gives us more than we can handle. I am so glad there are people out there that have the strength needed to take in sweet babies that need a loving home. And I am grateful that God has found me worthy to be a mother to three children. Knowing He has that much faith in me helps me to have more faith in myself. I am counting down the weeks until I can meet my newest little keeper!

On the Verge

Most of my life I have felt like I was on the verge of having it all together. On the verge of being organized and managing our family well. On the verge of remembering every appointment and removing all excess clutter and keeping all the outgrown clothing out of the drawers and closets. On the verge of having things painted and decorated how I would like them to be. On the verge of being ready to bring another baby home from the hospital. I guess it is possible that I am a procrastinator. I have told myself I would get everything in order after I got married or graduated from college and had all that "free time" or after the kids were out of diapers or after the holidays or after this project gets done...you get the picture. The thing is, I have never really been able to find those vast quantities of free time that I always thought adults had. What happened to that?


After work there is laundry, homework, dinner, bath time, and bedtime. And we kind of like to play board games. And that is if there is nowhere to go in the evening. I am not trying to pretend I am the busiest woman ever--I realize most parents are living the exact same way. So if you understand that most of the time I feel like I am almost getting it right, you will understand how excited I get when we complete a project and I get some new shelving units and can create the appearance of complete organization. Above you will see the first one of those units that I got all filled up(notice the cake making shelf on top:). When someone looks in my new pantry closet they will see that I have it all together. In one small space of my home. That makes me really happy. They will see there is no sour kraut or any other food product in my bedroom and that makes me happy too. I also got my kitchen painted and the border put up. My new sign from my favorite store says it all. And who knows? I may be ready for Baby #3 on time after all. I'll keep you posted!

Superherios

Can I just tell you how adorable it is when Jaron says superherios? Like Cheerios. I don't know why he adds that extra syllable but I don't want to correct him because I am afraid that once he stops mispronouncing words he will be a grown-up and he will stop telling complete strangers that he sure loves his mom (like he did Saturday at an auction we went to). I don't think I will ever be ready for that stage in his life. We go trick-or-treating in Elmer, where Kevin grew up, on Halloween Eve. I don't know why but that is the way it has always been and it seems to be the way it will always be. Since Madison's first Halloween at 5 months old he has been our driver. He makes sure we don't miss the lady who makes the homemade cupcakes or the lady who makes the best popcorn balls. He doesn't want anyone to be left out. He's considerate like that. My favorite thing about Halloween Eve this year was how excited Jaron was about everything. Last year he sort of tip-toed behind his sister. This year he was not bashful at all and he told everyone "trick-or-treat" and "thank you." He also lifted his mask at every house to say, "See? I'm Spiderman!" just for clarification. He was very impressed with the people who told him they knew he was Spiderman. The only problem with that was that it tended to make his mask crooked so he could not see. I did not realize he was having that problem until he ran into a tree...but after I took over guide duty he was fine. He also told some teenage girls passing out treats that he would rescue them tomorrow.

On Halloween day, I went with Jaron to preschool. We walked to the bank to go trick-or-treating. The kids bobbed for apples the sanitary way(every kid had their own bucket of water), and had spooky cupcakes. After lunch we went to Madison's school, although I really still think of it as my school, for more celebrating. I was the mom in charge of the game (Serenity - one of the moms dipped big, fat pretzel sticks in white almond bark and stuck a candy corn on the end to make a fingernail and told them they were "vampire fingers"). I had plans to cut out some kind of Halloween shaped paper in this homemade game idea...but what I actually took were rolls of toilet paper so we could play "wrap the mummy." They seemed to enjoy it. I was also going to make the kids into these beautifully homemade crayons for the school parade and contest. I was a crayon in 3rd grade in this same parade and won a prize and thought it would be wonderful to continue that tradition. Neither of them wanted to do it. So Madison wore a cousin's Violet costume from last year and Jaron wore his Spiderman costume he got last Christmas and I did not lose any sleep making something sensational. Any guesses on what costume won Madison's class' contest? A homemade crayon. Oh, well. I love holidays. I love traditions. I love taking a day off of work to spend with my kids. I love having my mom and many other friends and family members in the school to share it with. I will definitely be making some pages about this.

Politics and Religion

I am not a political analyst. Politics have never be a big part of who I am. I have never been an official member of a certain party or put signs in my yard supporting people I planned to vote for. I am one of those people who will be relieved when this election is over so I can watch TV or listen to the radio and enjoy it without constant interludes that end with "and I approved this message." And I hang up on every phone call that smells like a political survey or endorsement. So when it comes to politics I choose to stay on the fence and make my decisions on a case-by-case basis instead of dedicating myself to one side or the other. The first time I was old enough to vote in a presidential election--I didn't. It is not that I am completely apathetic to the direction our country is going. And I have never had an issue with a lack of opinions. I just did not feel like I was informed and decided I would rather not vote than to vote for the wrong guy(they were all guys that time).

In the four years between the 2000 and the 2004 elections a couple of things happened. First, I starting experiencing this snowball of guilt for not executing my right as an American woman to vote. Oprah is always saying that the best place in the world for a woman to be born is America. I kept thinking about all the women who suffered to give me a voice I was not using. I felt like I was disgracing women everywhere by staying silent.

I decided if my reason for staying out of it was lack of knowledge then I could remedy that easily enough. I graduated from college and started my career in Cardiac Rehab. Ninety percent of the patients in my program are senior citizens. Most of them are involved in their local political groups and have been for many years. Most of them care about politics. And all of them like to inform others of why their political beliefs by far surpass those of their opponents. I learn a lot from my patients. They are wise about all the important things and have learned not to care too much about the things that do not matter. And these people watch the news and the weather. Every day. So I chose some of my rehabers that I trusted and I asked them to tell me why they felt so strongly about their party and/or their candidates. When opposing sides conflicted I went to the computer or the news and researched the issues. By 2004 I was no longer uninformed and I voted. And I wore my sticker all day.

Another change in me since 2000 was my decision to rededicate my life to the Lord and be baptized. My faith has become a bigger part of my life since then. I have done a lot of research for this presidential election we are facing. I watched most of the debates. I have listened to my rehabers discussing amongst themselves issue after issue. The feeling I get from people around me is that not only is this election the most important of all time but that the end result could make or break our country. People are putting so much pressure on themselves to choose wisely. People are having all kinds of anxiety over who is going to the White House and what that will mean for America. I do not share in all of that anxiety. I do not believe one man (or two men or one man and one woman) can make or break our country. Who has always been in control? After the election, Who is going to be in control? We can pray for our leaders and our country regardless of who wins this election. I don't believe our president is supposed to fix everything. It seems like people look to our leaders to fix all the wrongs in the world. It would be wonderful if they would always do the right thing. But when disaster strikes why is our government supposed to fix everything? Has it always been that way or did people use to help each other when a neighbor was in need? The President of the United States cannot single handedly change the hearts of all Americans. Is it the president's job to bring our country to Christ? Or is it our job? Shouldn't we be sharing God's Word, showing God's love, and living by God's example? If Christians everywhere were loving their neighbors and honoring their parents and preserving the sanctity of their marriages and teaching their children in the way they should go and living their lives for God would there be such large scale problems in our country? And are we supposed to be spending our time worrying about all of it or turning it over to the One who can change things?

All I am saying is that I have done my research and I will cast my vote. I am still on the fence relative to my devotion to one party or the other, but I do try my best to vote with my heart for the best candidate that I can. But I am at peace with whatever the outcome will be. I just don't understand all the anxiety all around me and I don't share in it. I believe God is in control, and after my privileged time in the voting booth it is out of my hands.

Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Costume Parties and Popcorn

Our microwave died. Most families might not be affected much by this change in their household, but at my house we miss it a little bit. While I intend to do meal plans ahead of time and properly thaw my meat products in the refrigerator...many times I get home from work and throw something in the microwave to defrost to become dinner 30 minutes later. In the last few months, Kevin and the kids have also taken to microwave popcorn. With the stove installation project going on, it has been awhile since we have enjoyed popcorn and it has not gone unnoticed by the little people in our house. I decided we can survive and put the microwave on our Christmas list or get one at the crazy, in the dark, day after Thanksgiving sales and have not given it much more thought. So last night as I was arranging my canned goods on my new shelving in the pantry closet (for those of you feeling my pain about my bedroom...that means the sour kraut is out of there now!!!), Jaron came in and said, "Daddy is going to make us some popcorn!" I heard him but did not really hear him...our microwave is dead.

Well, as of Saturday, our outdoor stove is all installed, fired up, and working beautifully! The kids' rooms and our bathroom have never been warmer! Our old system kept 2 rooms warm and the rest of the house cold, but now we have vents in every room and it has made a ginormous difference! However, I do not have all the closets put back together and the chaos conquered. I took a break from it all to do fun stuff on Sunday, so last night was my first opportunity to start moving things out of my bedroom. I put together my new shelving unit and assigned the kids to jar transportation duty. As I said, I was arranging jars in the closet by year and type of food, where Jaron could find me easily to update me on all the happenings of the house. So he came back in and said, "Daddy is making popcorn and it is popping on the floor!" Because things are a little crazy, I may be slightly overly sensitive when it comes to new messes being made in the house. I chose to stay on task and wait until later to validate Jaron's news. A few jars later, Kevin, the love of my life, stuck his head in on the way to the living room to enjoy his snack and shared, "When you cook popcorn on the stove you really need a lid." Part of me was once again astounded by the vast difference between the genders...yet part of me was too happy that they were having popcorn to care. Between Kevin having to get up in the attic and under the house and dragging all the tools in and out and me following him around with the shop vac for so long, I was just happy we are done!

Like I said, after we shared that collective sigh of relief that we have heat before winter, I decided to take a break and do some fun stuff. Mom and I put up my new border in the kitchen. After church we lounged and watched our team. Kevin went off to cut wood, and the kids and I took in the church Halloween party with the cousins(Daddy does not condone Jaron's costume, but Daddy was cutting wood, and Spiderman has a hole for me to sew before Trick-or-Treating, so we went with it, OK? He likes to pretend he is the Easter bunny!) It was great to enjoy the season and forget about home renovations. I still have a lot of sorting, purging, and organizing to do...and a baby to make room for. But we are warm and toasty and can still make time to kick back and enjoy some popcorn.

Remingtyn Update

Remingtyn has continued her therapy in Kansas City all this time following her accident. They were blessed to have family to stay with throughout it all. Her parents have been alternating daughter duty. One of them stayed home with Sheridyn, who is in first grade this year, and the other stayed in the city to oversee rehab with Remingtyn. It has been eleven weeks since they have been able to be a family all under one roof. Their family has been a wonderful testament to faith. They have been so consistent in giving all the thanks and glory to God throughout Remingtyn's recovery.


Here is a quote from Tyena in her Caring Bridge journal: "Story of the morning: She was getting out of the shower and getting dressed when she asked me "I know I have asked Grandma to make me some doll clothes to match me but would it be to much to ask her to make me a special shirt that says 'a miracle' that is pink. Then if people asked me about it I could share with them how God made me a miracle" WOW talk about a great morning. God is just simply amazing me every time I turn around. Thanks for all our blessings, Lord! WE are so blessed by each one of you with all your prayers, love and support! Make today GREAT!!"

Here is one of my favorite memories of Tyena that I posted in the guestbook to illustrate what a loving and thoughtful person she has always been and what a wonderful addition she has been to our family!
"Hello, Cousins!
I keep thinking about when Tyena was expecting Remingtyn. I cannot tell you how many times Granny talked about how Tyena invited the grandmas over (was it Mother's Day?) and if memory serves me right she made some kind of cupcakes in the shape of baby booties for everyone and I was told that when the light bulbs started going off and everyone figured out what was going on there were many tears and hugs. Granny always talked about how special it made her feel. I remember thinking I needed to try harder to make the people I care about feel that way more often! That is just one example of how Tyena has always been so loving and extraordinary herself. I was thinking about how special both of your girls have always been (oh, and you too, Wade;) and how much love has always been surrounding you all! I just wanted you to know I am still checking on you every day and love reading your wonderful updates!
"I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers" Ephesians 1:16
Kevin, Valerie, Madison, & Jaron"


Tyena is the reason I got the grandparents pink bibs for Christmas after Madison's ultrasound, and the reason I sent blue balloon bouquets to my mom and Kevin's mom the day of Jaron's ultrasound. She is not a person who just tells people she thinks they are special, she shows them. I have always been inspired by her and the way she lives her faith and her love for people. Watching her faith and attitude stay strong and positive throughout all that has happened has only made me love and admire her more! She and Wade have both been the epitome of faith and positive thinking and I could not be more proud to call them family!

Remingtyn got to come home for good yesterday and will be joining her class at school full-time. This picture was taken last night with the people who flew her to Columbia on August 2nd. I love these cousins of mine and am so proud of them, inspired by them, and grateful that they can be a family again in their own home. Love & hugs to Wade, Tyena, Remingtyn, and Sheridyn!

Loyalty

I am a person who values loyalty. I am comforted by the loyalty that surrounds me through my friends and family. Knowing there are people standing behind me makes me feel wrapped in love. It makes me feel better. Stronger. Valued. I try to look for opportunities to be loyal to my favorite businesses and business people. I try to be loyal to my small town local businesses. It is not always a convenient part of my day to be loyal. Sometimes it is easier to get everything at Wal-Mart instead of stopping by all the little shops to get what I need. Sometimes Wal-Mart decides to discontinue what I need, such as maternity clothes, and when my old maternity pants won't fit anymore I have to make due with the big girl yoga pants instead because that's all they have but that is another post for another day. Sometimes I don't want to burn the extra gas and time to maintain my loyalty. But I do try. And I value loyalty.

My loyalty transcends into athletics. Maybe as an exercise physiologist I should be a sports fanatic just for the love of hard work, talent, and competition. But I am not really a sports fanatic. I am a team fanatic. I get invested in my team. I loved the Olympics because of Team USA. Team USA is my team. I like to watch the Cardinals, but if the Cardinals are not playing I am not interested. The Cardinals--my team. I like to watch my people participating in sports. I will root for my kids, nieces, nephews, and friends every time. I get invested in the people and the group comprised of those people. So it is not just for my appreciation of athletics that I watch. It is because I care about my people and my teams. I care about who wins. I try not to get so caught up in it that it will kill my mood for an entire day or anything when my team loses (as my husband might) but I like my teams to win.

I guess I will just come on out and tell you that my favorite professional team to watch is a football team. After last Sunday, every sportscaster on TV was labeling my team as the worst team in the NFL. It is not always easy being a fan of the Kansas City Chiefs, but they are most definitely my team. My husband was so disgusted with them he was trying to rationalize why we are sticking with them at all. My husband, who has loved them as long as he can remember is on the verge of jumping ship. My husband, who is responsible for my transformation. I always liked the Chiefs, but I use to be someone who followed their win/loss record. Now I am someone who wears red and gold after church on Sundays. I do not plan anything outside of our home for that 3 hours every Sunday afternoon. I know who they are playing and if the game will be on at noon or three o'clock. I check the website to learn the status of injuries. I watch the games. I talk to Coach Herm and many of the players as though they can hear me. I admit it. I made a big fleece Chief's blanket that we snuggle under. Yes, I did. With fleece, a sewing machine, and thread. I like them to play well and be successful, but regardless of the outcome, I look at it as serious family bonding time and I love it!

I am not a fair weather fan. I will not be embarrassed by my devotion. I value loyalty. Even when they may not score a point until the 4th quarter sometimes. So I explained to Kevin that we are not Chief fans because they win the most games. We are Chief fans because they are our team. We value loyalty. This is the real thing. In good times and in bad. I explained that we will endure this season and look back on it to better appreciate when times improve. I believe the loyalty of their fans will make them better and stronger. While I think I helped Kevin with his issues, don't let my pep talk fool you. Do you really want to know where I am with this right now? The more we lose this year, the better our draft picks for next year. It is not always easy being loyal, but there is always a silver lining. Sometimes we just have to look at the bigger picture.

Important Lessons

I am so happy that our previous preschool director, Mrs. Amanda, took it upon herself to fill our need for a teacher until Mrs. Natisha comes back from her bed rest and maternity leave. You may remember the blog where Jaron was crying and did not want to stay there and I was heartbroken and had to pull him out. Well, I want to be careful not to complain on my blog and then forget to mention when things are going great. Not only is Mrs. Amanda wonderful, but they have hired a new afternoon lady as well, Miss Edna, who all the kids absolutely love! During the bad times I stopped by at nap time one day to get Jaron and the part-time girl was sleeping! Not a dozing, head-bobbing kind of sleeping. A deep snoring sleeping that I had to waken her from to take him with me. There were three kids awake on their cots at the time! Well, not only is Miss Edna awake every day when I get there, but she is always interacting with the kids. Not just sitting back and supervising, but interacting. Reading them a book. Helping them with getting dress up clothes on. Pushing them on the swing. One day I caught her kissing a boo boo that could not be seen by the naked eye. Jaron has come so far around in his devotion to the school that on Monday afternoon when I got there he said, "Oh, Mom! Why do you have to come and pick me up?"

There was another issue I was struggling with before. I asked him many questions back then about what he had learned at school and could never get any answers. Just in the last month, he has explained in detail the importance of bike safety. He talks about wearing your helmet, never riding in the street, always watching for cars. I wrote a blog about our field trip to the apple orchard and the song they learned about apples. They did some work on fire safety. A fire truck came to school and they made their own glitterful fire helmets. They got to squirt the hose and "ring the bell." He brings home artwork masterpieces almost every day. He is so excited to share his adventures when he gets home. He is so proud to have important lessons from his school to share with Mom and Dad just like Madison does from her "big" school.

Preschool kids are like little sponges. They have been so busy learning that I have gotten into the habit of asking Jaron every day what he learned at school. So last night at the dinner table Jaron says, "Guess what? Today we did not learn about fire fighting."

I said, "Oh? What did you learn about?"

He said, "We learned about GERMS. And you know what? We wash our hands with soap and we do NOT pick our boogers. You know why? Boogers have GERMS!"

So while that may not be the best dinner conversation topic, I continue to be proud of how much better things are and how much they are working with the kids at preschool. These are all important lessons, right? I am so happy that God cares so much about taking care of a little family in Podunk. I think sometimes I am trying so hard to fix things that I miss important lessons of my own. Lessons about turning everything over to Him and trusting Him to work it out instead of letting myself get all worked up about it and trying to find my own solutions. We all know Proverbs 3:5. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding." So it occurred to me that I should relax about the whole finding a babysitter for the baby thing. I am sure He has it all worked out.

even when I am grouchy

I have been grouchy. I feel like I am admitting to alcoholism or something but I have been grouchy. We have spent several evenings and some weekends preparing for and working on this outdoor wood furnace installation project. It sounds fairly straight forward, right? We had to run a big tube from under the house to the stove. Outdoors there was a cement pad to be poured and a trench to be dug for that tube. I hate how simple that one sentence sounds when the actual work involved took days. Kevin broke two spade handles. I was not the one with the shovel. I was not the one who built the form for the cement. I was the girl who handed stuff to that guy. And got him big glasses of ice water. And tried to prevent the kids from undoing any of his hard work.

Inside we have gutted my huge, centrally located, hall closet off of the kitchen. This is where the "air handler" will go that will send this glorious heat everywhere in our house. This is the closet that houses all my hundreds of jars of canned goods. I'm not kidding. Green beans, tomatoes, potatoes, sour kraut, and pickles from the garden. I have a domestic side. Along with that are my canning supplies and canners. Also in there are my large kitchen appliances. My cake pans and roasting pans. Oh, and about 4 bins of Kevin's hunting stuff. I don't know why. So while this closet is gutted and we are in complete project mode...all of those previously mentioned things are in the corner of my bedroom. Whether we are working in the closet or outside in the dirt or under the house the kids have been on standby--ready to offer their helpful services. They think this is all a grand adventure. But at the end of the day I am sleeping next to sour kraut and I think it is driving me crazy.

I should mention while Kevin has done most of the labor...he spends his days as a union carpenter. So he does his job and moves on. They have these laborers that follow along behind them and clean up their mess when they are done. That is me also. So throughout this whole process, I have been the clean up crew. I have fed my family excessive amounts of hamburger helper and frozen pizza.

I understand the beauty of heat without a propane bill. I grew up with wood heat and I love it. I have missed it. I am appreciative of the fresh, new paint and linoleum and new shelving we are planning in the big closet and can envision everything in all of its completed glory. But right now my house is in total chaos. I feel like I am barely keeping things together, and I have been grouchy.

.

Last night, after putting the kids to bed, laying linoleum, and cleaning up the tools involved, I was cleaning up the kitchen. I considered how much more paint I should buy to paint the kitchen because I have been putting that off for years. If I am painting the pantry closet I might as well paint it and the kitchen to match the border I bought off of eBay last year. I had just turned my focus to how to get myself to bed as soon as possible when my refrigerator door caught my eye. Just look at that. I wanted to cry. I climbed into Madison's bed with her. I told her what a sweet and thoughtful little girl she is. I told her how proud I am of her. I told her I am so thankful that out of all the little girls in the whole world, God gave me Madison Rose. I love how my kids always seem to save me from myself. Yes, we are exhausted. Yes, our house is a crazy, hectic mess. But wait! Here comes my epiphany. It really doesn't matter. The same people are still in my house and I love them beyond measure. And they love me. Even when I am grouchy.

the apple trip

I went with Jaron's preschool on a field trip to the West Apple Orchard north of Macon. The kids learned the most adorable little poem that they performed with actions for the owners.

"Way up high in the apple tree

two red apples smiled at me

So I shook that tree as hard as I could

and down came the apples, mmm were they good!"

We enjoyed a tour of the orchard. Every child got their own bag to fill with apples they picked themselves. We topped it off with a picnic in the shade. I love celebrating the seasons with the kids and enjoying these experiences through their eyes. Their wine looked enticing also but we grownups agreed that would have to be another field trip for another day!

This is the class with their teacher Miss Amanda. She use to be the director until she chose to stay home with her baby girl last year. Soon after I pulled Jaron out of preschool, she found out they were having difficulty with their part-time staffing. She decided to come back to fill in the gap until their present teacher gets back from maternity leave in November. (Thank you for your prayers regarding Jaron's preschool after my crazy mini-meltdown blog back in August!)

Mmm...were they good!

self-inflicted haircuts

Right before the Christmas of 2005 I was wrapping Christmas gifts, with Madison's supervision, on my bed on a Sunday afternoon. She was three. I left the room to get another roll of tape. I walked back to the bed to resume wrapping when I noticed I was stepping on a clump of hair. It was dark and straight, and moving the dust ruffle revealed that it was about 5 inches long...and there were more clumps to be found hiding under the bed. Looking back I realize it was probably not a good idea to leave the gift wrapping scissors on the bed during my little errand. Madison was sitting in my bedroom glider not looking at me. Most of her hair was most of the way down her back. Except for her bangs. And the one side she had cut off before ditching all evidence prior to my return. I did not treat this situation as a tragedy...however it was Sunday afternoon. Monday night was the preschool program. So I rushed her to the Wal-Mart Supercenter to get the damage repaired in their little beauty shop. I may have lectured her all the way to Kirksville (and all the way back home) about the proper uses for scissors. This picture was taken after Santa gave her an apple at the program. It could have been much worse. She was not bald or injured, right?

While it would be lovely to learn from our mistakes and prevent the same mishaps from recurring in our lives, reality is not always conducive to lovely. So over the weekend I rearranged the "learning center" I have set up in the hallway. I spent the evening sorting the supplies. I can still hear my contented sigh and feel that sense of accomplishment as I looked over my work. At the end of the hall is a small school desk and two disc chairs for the kids to read in. The book case has one complete shelf of hard back children's books and one complete shelf of soft back children's books. On the third shelf are three baskets. One for flashcards, one for Beginning Reader and Phonics books, and one for the kids' favorite books that they most often request at bedtime. Did I tell you about the top shelf? On one end you will see a stack of activity books. Coloring books, work books, puzzle books, etc. On the other end you will find the fourth and final basket. I rightfully named it the "school box basket." This basket contains items you may expect. Pencils, crayons, markers, colored pencils, erasers, glue sticks, pencil sharpeners, and scissors. You know the little scissors with the plastic handles and blunt ends? Yes. I was excited about the learning center. I can't say that I even got upset with Jaron's self-inflicted haircut. You can tell he didn't lose much sleep either. I trimmed his bangs a little (after this picture) and took him to school. I think I mentioned something about scissors being for paper. Hey, boys can wear hats, right?

Close in Heart

There was a time when basketball was just about the most important thing in my life. I loved to play. I loved to play but I especially loved to play with the same group of girls I had played with all my life...or at least since I was in 5th grade. I loved that my teammates were most of my best friends in the world. I knew them like sisters. Some of our families went to the lake together in the summers. Our dads went hunting together. I visited their brothers and sisters as babies when they were born. I went to the funerals when their grandparents died.

Outside of game time, we had sleepovers and team meetings/movie nights. We had team camps and summer tournaments and practices and open gyms and fundraisers. I hadn't thought about how much time we spent together growing up in a very long time. I miss playing basketball, but it's not about wanting to relive those old glory days and being all trim and fit again (although trim would be appreciated these days). It is about spending time and keeping up with those people that I worked and sweat and cried and played with all those years ago...and for all of those years.

Atlanta had their big Sesquicentennial celebration over the weekend. They wanted to honor any alumni athletes who have been honored at the state level over the years. At the last minute they asked if we had anything we wanted to share. I could not come up with a summary in that moment for what my athletic career meant or represented to me. I thought about it some over the rest of the weekend. What would I say if I had to say something about that time in my life? What are the most important things that I have taken from the experience?

I came to the very swift conclusion that of all the wonderful trophies and medals and memorabilia that I posses to represent that time, what I treasure the most are those people that I shared it with. My teammates. Our families. Coach Roberts and his family. I have dear friends who were never my teammates, but most of my best friends to this day were there with me every step of the way. I am not talking about friendships from back then where we would plan our hairdo's and wardrobe for big events. I am talking about the people I called when I got engaged. The people I called when I found out I was having a baby. The people I called from my hospital bed to share all the details about the tiny fingers and toes. The people I called when my grandma was diagnosed with cancer. The people I call when I feel inadequate or overwhelmed as a wife, mother, or daughter and need some reassurance or encouragement. The people who call me for a lot of those same reasons. Reaching out to these lifelong friends or having them reach out to me, whether it be joyous or sorrowful, is one of the most wonderful elements of life that make it worth living. My calendar had a quote for the day that said, "True friends stay close in heart even when far away." Yes. There is something about maintaining those lifelong friendships that feels like home. I hope we can manage to keep things this way for many years to come.