Perspective

One of my favorite things about Grey's Anatomy is the narrative that goes along with it. If I am lacking the energy or intelligence to pull the meaning from the episode, they spell it out in plain English. Cohesiveness makes me happy. I like it when someone puts a little thought into something to tie it all together in the end so I will think it over.

In the last episode, Meredeth talked about people saying, "I had a terrible day" when they have had a fight with their boss, had the stomach flu, spilled coffee on their shirt, or got stuck in traffic. Then, as good TV dramas do, the show went on to illustrate good people experiencing a really terrible day involving danger, tough decisions, and unexpected death. She then reminds us that those people complaining about the spilled coffee would be begging for that day back if it meant that they could be released from the horrors of this day.

I can't stop thinking about perspective since I saw that episode. Over Thanksgiving weekend, my dishwasher died. When I started thinking it was slightly tragic, my girlfriend called to tell me her house burned to the ground. Maybe I should mention they did not have house insurance. Dishwashers are not that complicated to replace, after all. And I do not need one to eat, sleep, or stay warm, and neither do my children. What if I had called my girlfriend to complain about my dishwasher that morning? I cringe at what that would have sounded like to her ears.

I hate to hear someone complain about how many gifts they have to buy at Christmastime. How must that sound to someone who lost precious family members this year? Or to someone who has not found that long awaited someone to build a family with to buy gifts for? I walk away wondering if they are truly not grateful to have loved ones on their lists. I want to tell them that they don't have to buy anything for anyone. They could make or bake them something. Christmas gifts should be a token of love, not a stressful burden.

When I want to complain about a week filled to the brim with the kids' activities, or I feel like I need a break from the demands of motherhood, I wonder how that would sound to the women who struggle for years with infertility.

How would it sound to those who do not live in the land of plenty if they overheard the complaints about the price of sugar? Or any of the other groceries we are free to pluck from the shelf?

I try not to complain about not having a huge holiday break from work. I try to be have gratitude for my job when I consider the volume of Americans out of work. I think about how it would sound to a soldier who is deployed right now. Or to the family who is out of work and losing the home they wanted to see their grandchildren come to visit for Christmas.

I am not trying to say I don't complain. I am just saying that I try to avoid treating the minor irritations of life like they are tragedies. I am just saying that I think the best perspective to have is a grateful one. Count your blessings and all of that. It may surprise us what the Lord has done.

Days Like That

Sometimes, when I am caught up at work, but miserably behind on things at home, it occurs to me to take a day off and restore the balance. I like to pretend that I am a stay-at-home mom on days like this. While I am pretending, I go ahead and tell myself that I am really, really good at it. When I get to have a stay-at-home mom day, I really do it like I mean it. Anybody can be that person they would like to be for one day. Friday was that day.

Instead of getting up at 5, I slept in until 6:45. I stayed in my pajamas as I got the big kids up and ready for school. After they were safely loaded on the big bus, I had a quick visit with my sister while starting breakfast. I cooked bacon, eggs, toast, and homemade hash browns. We ate together--just the three of us. Kevin left to be productive, and I got Megan dressed and ready for the day, complete with little Laura Ingalls braids. I spent 15 minutes on my neglected elliptical machine. Still in my pajamas.

After my “workout,” I took a shower and got ready for the day. It was getting close to nine o’clock. I got busy with things like dishes, laundry, and trips to the potty with Megan. I left the TV off and the music on. I let Megan help me a lot, and when I was unable to resist her adorableness any longer, I sat right down on the kitchen floor to help her feed her baby doll, and to collect some hugs and kisses. We danced. I got out some frozen hot rolls to thaw, and put a roast in the oven with potatoes, carrots, cabbage, and onion for our supper.

I warmed up some leftover chili for lunch, and Kevin came home to eat with us. Megan talked me into painting her fingernails and toenails. “Mommy, my pity na-ohs all gone! I need my pity na-ohs back! I like purpoe.” It seemed like a good idea, so I did my toes while I was at it. I put Megan down for her nap, and then I baked cookies for the big kids to enjoy when they got home from school. After nap time we picked Kevin up and took him to get his tractor. Megan loves to go see her daddy, and she loves getting to see the cows or tractors.

The kids had an early out, and when the big bus came into view, Megan squealed with delight, “My Masson!! My bruda!” I let her run outside to greet them because waiting until they walked all the way to the door was not an option. I am glad I had our evening meal under control because I really did not do a whole lot for the rest of the day. Pretending to be awesome is kind of exhausting. After dinner, I took Madison to meet her friend for a sleepover. I watched a little TV while Jaron and Megan played in their pajamas. I gathered all of our hunting accessories, and camo and orange gear for the big opening day of deer season.

It was a good day. I am thinking about having days like that every Friday.

quotes from the backseat

Jaron: "Hey, Dad, did you know phone doesn't start with an F? Because it doesn't. It starts with a P."

Me: "Did you have a good day at Barb's?"
Megan: "Yep. I play with Katie. Barb got my boogers."

These are the things we really need. To keep growing and learning. Someone to play with...and someone to take care of our needs.

The Monster

This year is the first time Jaron got to go deer hunting. We got him his very own Weatherby 22-250, and I don't know what scope, and he has been target practicing with his dad. Because Madison was also going, we had to split up this time. We decided to do a little boys vs. girls, so Kevin took Jaron and I took Madison. Kevin built a shooting table for him, and we set up two separate hunting blinds in two separate fields. We hunted Saturday morning and evening without seeing anything but squirrels, turkeys, and birds. Not conducive to shooting big bucks, but very conducive to sharing hot chocolate, snacks, and jokes.

On the Sunday evening hunt, Madison and I saw several deer, but not when we were able to get a shot off. I received a text from Kevin that said, "We have deer." I heard a shot in the distance, shortly followed by, "Big buck down." I did not get to personally witness this historic moment with Jaron, but he has told me the story repeatedly, along with some reenactment and sound effects. He only had to shoot once. He mentions that a lot. He told everyone, "I shot a big buck. He was a monster!" The Monster Buck had eight points, and was twenty and a half inches wide. And Jaron has walked a little taller ever since.

Go Live or Go Home...and by the way Happy Halloween!

Our hospital has been working on the transition from paper medical records to electronic medical records for over a year and a half, and our GO LIVE! date was October 31. I was part of a group of employees appointed to be in charge of building the computer applications specific to our hospital's needs, and for training those who would be using the computers (basically everyone). We had to attend many classes, and between those classes we had much building to do. Everything that was being documented on paper needed a designated place to be documented in the computer system. Think of Microsoft Office. You know, there is Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and Outlook. Well, the program we are using has applications like that for medical people to use...only instead of four of them, there are about twenty-five of them. There is an application for lab, radiology, emergency room, operating room, registration, clinical care, therapeutic reporting, resource scheduling...to name a few.

So the project was massive. Many hours underground in the basement training room were involved, and many hours trying to catch up on our regular jobs that we had neglected so we could work on the project. The bottom line is, GO LIVE! was on Halloween, and so was the kids' costume parade at school. One of the hardest things about trying to balance career and motherhood is a day like this. I feel a little bit like a failure when I miss something that is a big deal to my kids. My mom was always there for everything. Always. I guess I wanted my kids to be able to say that.

But there is an upside. While it does not hold true hospital wide, the GO LIVE! went really well for me and my department. I saw tears, I heard profanity, and I witnessed my coworkers flocking to the coffee and Halloween candy. Not so much in Cardiac Rehab. Everything I needed to do for my patients worked like it was supposed to and it was easy and exciting! Yay! (I did not spread it around too much, though, because I did not want anyone at work to be tempted to beat me up!)

I had a small epiphany at home as well. I really didn't miss anything vitally important. As is our tradition, we trick-or-treated as a family on the eve of Halloween (it's the way Halloween has always been done in our tiny town). While I was not one of the classroom party moms this time, Madison took cupcakes to school for movie day with orange and black sprinkles. And we carved pumpkins. My hope is that they will remember the trick-or-treating. And the cupcakes and the pumpkins. My hope is that the one little parade when I wasn't there will fall right off of their radar. I mean, if you look closely, they don't really look traumatized, do they?