I Like Him Handsome

In one of my favorite books, New Moon, Stephenie Meyer gives us a beautiful description of Jacob. It has always stood out to me. She writes, "Jacob was simply a perpetually happy person, and he carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Like an earthbound sun, whenever someone was within his gravitational pull, Jacob warmed them. It was natural, a part of who he was"(p. 145).

Every time I read that, I think about Jaron. Jaron is a perpetually happy person. His periods of discontent are rare and brief. I love that about his personality. His positive nature brightens and blesses our family on a regular basis. He is the kind of kid who brings home a gift for his sister when he gets to choose something out of the treasure box for his good behavior at school. He is the kind of kid who forgives in a heartbeat. He loves his family and is not too embarrassed to give out hugs and kisses. Yet. He loves transformers, Lego's, swimming, and ball games. He loves pancakes, chocolate, hamburgers, fish, and hushpuppies. He radiates happiness and contentment. He laughs easily. As much as he tries to be a serious big boy, he cannot hold back a smile. Ever.

Recently, my mom was cutting Jaron's hair when he was spending the night with her. She said, "I forgot to ask your mom how she wanted me to cut your hair." He said, "Handsome. She likes it handsome." I do like him handsome. But I also like him sweet, caring, and happy. I can't help but think he is going to be a good man someday. I can't help but think he will be a thoughtful husband and a devoted father someday. But today he is my favorite little boy who lights up when I walk into the room. And he is six years old. Happy Birthday, Jaron!

there's a good chance I have a problem

I am a mostly rational person. I am not prone to random, crazy behavior. I will never bungee jump or pierce a part of myself covered by clothing. I have never tried any illegal drugs. I do not have any tattoos. I have been married almost eleven years to my junior high boyfriend. Almost every evening this month, I have been hauling my three children in my minivan to softball and tee ball games and eating cook shack hamburgers for supper. I have lived in one school district for my entire life, and I have been at the same job for seven and a half years. I have always rooted for the Atlanta Hornets, the St. Louis Cardinals, and the Kansas City Chiefs. All of these above behaviors make me feel like I am the epitome of normalcy. I don't mind that...although there are probably people out there that would equate normalcy with BORING.

So on one hand, I am this totally predictable soccer mom type with a pony tail. But on the other hand, I am totally and completely, over the top and embarrassingly, obsessively and compulsively in love with The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer. As Eclipse is heading into theatres this week, I should confess that I have read the series, in its entirety, four times. In the last year and a half. Four times. There are very few books I have ever read more than once. There are no other books I have ever read four times. They are by far my all time favorites. I have convinced people to read these books against their better judgement. People who do not read fantasy or people who do not read in general. Every one of them loved the series. They thanked me later. I am not exactly sure how I can relate so thoroughly to this girl who is in love with a vampire, but I do. These books are not dark, freaky fantasies. The Twilight Saga is romance, morality, chivalry, and love overcoming obstacles. It is an imperfect girl finding love and her place in the world. There just happen to be vampires and wolves involved. So people say I am kind of a crazy fan. I don't think I am crazy just because of charms on my bracelet. Or because I know the movie release dates as soon as they go public and begin my countdown. Or because I am planning on taking a few vacation hours to see Eclipse on opening day. Or because in preparation for this movie, I read the book again, along with the new novella that accompanies it. And I watched Twilight and New Moon. Again. Or because, along with the first two soundtracks, my iPod already has the Eclipse soundtrack on it...and I can sing along. Or because of my new Collectors Edition People...

I guess maybe I can't help myself. So there's a good chance I have a problem. I might be crazy after all.

Happy Father's Day

My dad has never been a very mushy kind of guy. He has never been the kind of guy who says, "I love you" every day. As a rule, he is not overly affectionate. Usually when puckered lips are coming his way, he sticks his cheek out to meet them. Even so, I have never wondered if he loved me. The thing about my dad is, he has always been more of a doer than a talker. So while he does not spend a lot of time professing his feelings for his favorite people on a regular basis, he does spend a lot of time loving them. I remember waking up as a teenager to my mom saying, "Your car had a flat tire this morning, but your dad fixed it." Before I was even out of bed, People. My oil was changed every three thousand miles, but I never looked at the mileage. He fixed whatever was broken. He still does that for me. He works on my vehicle when I need it. He patiently answers my mechanically challenged questions. Just recently he brought my dishwasher back to life. And to a working mom of three kids in the middle of baseball season--that's a pretty big deal. He is the most dependable person I know.

I could write about the best advice he has given me, or all the things he has fixed for me, or all the teeth he has pulled for me, or the time he took me for a spin on my first bike before I knew how to ride it. I really think it would take more than one post to cover it. I remember it all, and I am grateful. My favorite thing about my dad these days is the kind of Grandpa he is to my kids. He lights up when he sees them, even when they misbehave...or sometimes especially when they misbehave. They have learned quickly that they can depend on him, too. Among other things, they can depend on him for applause and the hide the pen game, chocolate treats, fireworks and fishing in the summer, good ham and cheese snacks, and rides in the tractor.

I hope someday my kids feel like they can count on me like I have always counted on my dad. So Happy Father's Day to the dads who tell their families they love them every day. And Happy Father's Day to dads like mine. The ones who show their families they love them by taking really good care of them, and the ones who become the kind of grandpa that every kid hopes to have.

because one blog just isn't enough anymore

So I was the girl that hesitated to start my own blog. Because I was not sure anybody would care what I had to say. And I was nervous at the thought that maybe they would. Or that they may not agree or approve of my writing. A couple of years into blogging, I am still not sure if I entertain, inspire, uplift, or offend anybody. The biggest surprise is that I really like it. I like writing. I like sharing my opinions and getting things off my chest. I like knowing somebody is reading what I write. And I love being able to look back on forgotten moments with a fresh perspective and appreciation when I compare it to what life is like today.

So I decided to start another one. One blog just isn't enough anymore. I have been spending so much time with my new camera that I am finally starting to feel like a photographer instead of a girl who loves taking pictures. I have asked some family and close friends for some practice opportunities and they are coming up soon. I would like to introduce you to my photography blog. Feel free to provide feedback on pictures. I know I am not a professional and I want to improve and learn as much as I possibly can!

Moments Like That

When my kids became old enough to participate in small musical productions, I may have had some unrealistic expectations. I envisioned things like angelic smiles to bookend flawless performances. And it bothered me when things did not go that way. Don’t get me wrong, because I have had moments like that. Where my throat tightens and my eyes sting and my heart just…aches with the beauty of it. I have also experienced the opposite of that. Like my kid, frozen like a deer in the headlights, too scared to utter a sound or move a muscle. Or my kid saying something inappropriate at the most silent moment possible. Or my kid trying to portray to me, via sign language, that the glitter from her dress is all over her--which looks more like “I might pee my pants” to me and everyone I have ever met in my entire life (aka the "audience"), when she should be singing with her classmates. I have learned to lower my expectations just a little. If they do a great job, I am excited. That's great. If not, nobody’s perfect. Life goes on, and we’ll be doing this again before long. There will be plenty of opportunity for redemption.

Jaron has never been much of a talker. He scored low on his kindergarten screening. I knew his score was more about him being too shy to talk to strangers, and less about his lack of knowledge, but I worried about him. I worried about him being scared of all of the new people and unfamiliar surroundings that came with going to big school. I worried they would underestimate his potential because he was too shy to let them know the answers in his head. I worried that his bashful nature would hold him back forever. That he would always struggle and lack the confidence to express himself. I wished I had done more to try to bring him out of his shell.

We had kindergarten graduation last week. The bleachers are packed for kindergarten graduation. The whole student body is in attendance. And parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. The little kindergartners come out, alone, as their name is called, to receive their diplomas. Then they perform. They sing songs with actions in front of almost everyone they know. And then they have individual awards with cake in the classroom. It's a big deal. My little boy? The one who has never been much of a talker? He had some big sighs between songs, but he sang his little heart out. He danced and performed all the actions at the appropriate time like a little rock star. My throat tightened. My eyes stung. And my heart just ached with the beauty of it. It ached a little more when the award he received in the classroom was the "Sharing Award." He is coming out of his shell all on his own. I think he is going to be just fine. I realized that he may have some big sighs along the way, but he will also sing big, dance big, and dream big. Which happens to be exactly what he was singing about. It was the perfect song for kindergarten graduation. While I don't expect every school program to be absolutely perfect anymore, I love it when that happens. I hope you have moments like that.