A year goes by THAT fast!

A year ago, this day began at Boone Hospital with contractions coming every five minutes. They were not the kind of contractions that made me wonder what was going wrong because they just had to be more brutal than most women's. They were not the kind that made me wonder how I would survive what was coming next. I did feel compelled to close my eyes, place both hands on my tightening, super sized abdomen, and breathe deeply and slowly until it was over. They were significant enough for me to mark the passage of time by the minutes of rest I got between them. By the time I had convinced the nurse that my water had broken(actually she never did believe me but she tested to be sure...she kept telling me I had peed the bed!), and we determined the baby was definitely coming on this day, Kevin was already almost to Hannibal on his way to work. We thought I was going to be in bed watching TV for another week and we did not feel like I needed help doing that. My mom would have been with me, but we both knew it would help me most if she had the big kids with her so I would know they were in good hands, and she and Dad could bring them to meet their much anticipated baby sister. My sister was sick with a bad cold and was not coming to the hospital at all, in the best interest of the baby. So I was in labor. I was alone. I was a little scared. But my body was in such a state of misery I would have gladly rolled into the operating room by myself. I had reached the point where I was confident my baby would be safer out in the real world where we could monitor her more closely. My doctor said she could do my surgery at 8:00 am or at noon, and since Megan was not in distress, and Kevin was so far away, she opted for noon.

Nothing compares to the feeling a mother gets when she hears her baby cry for the first time. With a c-section, you have to listen for it to know the baby is doing okay. You cannot see your baby because of the drapes so all you can do is listen. It took longer than it normally would to hear Megan cry, and when I finally did, she sounded so much more quiet than Madison and Jaron had. I knew something didn't sound right. Kevin let me know it was because she was on oxygen. By the time they had weighed her and finished up with her apgars and everything, she was already done with the oxygen, and all 6 pounds, 2 ounces of her was crying at a very ticked off high volume! I was elated. She was tiny. She was precious. She was perfect.

A year ago today, my family became complete. Madison thought she could just take over Megan's care all by herself, and she would have. She loved her more than I thought possible. I worried about Jaron a little. He was freaked out by the hospital and did not want to come close to me or talk to me on the phone with all of my machines and everything "plugged in to me." But soon after we were home I realized he loved Megan just as much. I don't think he thought she would be quite that tiny. My life became hectic in ways I could never imagine or anticipate. My mom told me motherhood is like juggling, and you can't always keep all of the balls in the air. You have to drop the ones that don't matter. I have learned a lot over this year about letting a ball drop. About which balls don't matter. I have learned a lot about flexibility and being satisfied with doing my best, although my best often leaves many things undone. Because Madison was barely two when I had Jaron, I never felt like I got to enjoy him enough when he was a tiny baby. I am confident I have enjoyed my Megan. We all have. When she wants to play, someone jumps in to play with her. When she gets hungry, someone feeds her. When she gets sleepy, someone is always there to rock her. Her diapers are always changed promptly because I know if I don't do it, one of my "helpers" might and that could get ugly! We have enjoyed our baby. I think she has enjoyed us, too.

Megan has learned a lot this year as well. She is walking. If you ask her if it is snowing, she points at the window. If you say, "Oh, no, you didn't!" she shakes her head back and forth and shows some attitude. She says "Mama" and "Dada" and "tattoo"(thank you) and "bye-bye" and "kiss." When you call for her brother or sister she stops what she is doing and swivels her little head back and forth as fast as she can, looking for them to come into the room. She waves bye-bye and claps for patty cake and yay and she holds up a finger when you talk about how she is one! She eats anything I put in her mouth and acts like it is her favorite food. She has mastered the sippy cup and is off of the bottle. She never wears socks and shoes any longer than it takes her to get them off of her little feet. She gives many kisses and hugs to all of her favorite people every day. She cracks herself up a lot. She cracks us all up a lot. Our grand finale baby has brought immeasurable joy into our family. Happy Birthday, Megan Joleen! I don't know what we ever did without you. May all of your birthdays find you as happy as this one, with countless beautiful smiles and an abundance of hugs and kisses!