I wrote that

So, remember how Serenity inspired me to write a poem? And I quote, "Life is too short to criticize and complain." I wrote that. I meant it when I wrote it. I still mean it, but today has been one of those days when my complaints are screaming in my head and all the blessings that I know are very present and appreciated in my life seem to be whispering.

I found out this morning that the babysitter I have been planning on for my baby will not be able to babysit for me after all. I called her before I told the grandparents! She has a mom who already brings a child to her that is expecting again so her opening for next fall will by taken. I have already been praying and I know God will provide for my family but I am a planner. I like to know the plan. It's OK if that plan is months or even years away, but I like to know. I know I still have a lot of time and I know this is not a tragedy. I know.

There have been changes at the preschool where Madison and Jaron have attended over the past few years. The director is on bed rest and there have been situations with the part-time fill-in people that I was just not comfortable with...but I thought I was grouchy and hormonal. Yesterday, Jaron cried and did not want to stay. I thought he was tired from the weekend. He did it again today. This picture is him with his award from the May program for being the class entertainer. He has never cried to be left there before. I am probably not going to be taking him back. I have never understood those people on the news who find their abducted children and say, "I always did have a bad feeling about that person." I thought what kind of mother sends their child into a situation where there is a bad feeling? I cannot be one of those mothers. It was all I could do to drive away from him today when he was upset. I do not think I can do it again.

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I was on my way back to work at lunchtime today from looking at an alternative preschool when my cell phone rang. I am seriously not making this stuff up. It was Madison's school nurse. She got sick and threw up today at school. Obviously she needed to be picked up. So who had the big idea to change the definition of a woman? Who had the big idea that women should have careers outside the home? I read that not only is a woman's work never done but the definition keeps changing. Isn't that the truth? Why did we decide we want to earn money and have our say and our equality? Why didn't we just leave the careers to the men and stay home with our babies?

Um...okay. Just so you know, in the future I will do my best to refrain from blogging when I know I am a hormonal hurricane. I love my job in cardiac rehab and it is more flexible than most of my friends' jobs. I love helping people feel better. I love having a career and a family and I really do know the answers to most of the questions I rambled on about before. Life is too short to criticize and complain. I know that. I wrote that.